How to Stop Letting Anxiety and Negative Thoughts Ruin Your Life Pt 14

Here is The Hart Habits framework tool I built and have used to help hundreds of small business owners and professionals.

00:00 Intro

00:47 TL/DW: The Framework

01:02 Three Parts of the framework: Nautilus, Mantras, Guiding Principles

01:41 Guiding Principle #1

01:48 Nautilus

03:32 Guiding Principle #2

04:12 Guiding Principle #3 and #4

06:22 Habit 1 (SLANT 3,4,5,6)

07:48 Habit 2 (SLANT 8)

08:35 Habit 3 (SLANT 9)

08:56 Habit 4 (SLANT 2)

09:47 Habit 5 (SLANT 1)

10:58 Habit 6 (SLANT 10)

11:38 Habit 7 (SLANT 7)

12:31 Habit 8 (SLANT 11)

12:57 Habit 9 (SLANT 12)

13:06 Habit 10 (SLANT 13)

13:37 Wrap Up

Since you made it this far, it’s time for you to see the easy framework I built to help you apply these principles every day, any time with a moment’s thought, instead of having to listen to an hour of material and thinking about all the deep things that we’ve discussed over the past 14 weeks.

So today I’ll share the framework with you and send you off with love, hope, and best wishes for great success in your future.

TL/DW: The Framework

The framework is called The Hart Habits and I have been developing it for the last 15 years. You’ll notice a few interesting things about it.

Three Parts of the framework: Nautilus, Mantras, Guiding Principles

First, you see there is what we call a nautilus shell. This is a type of sea animal but there’s significance to the shape and to this particular design for the framework.

Then you’ll see that there are 10 habits listed out and they each have a mantra of one sentence or two, at the most.

Underneath the beautiful nautilus shell, you’ll notice the guiding principles.

These are related to the way the framework looks and what it all means.

Guiding Principle #1

The first of the guiding principles is that love requires growth, not change.

This refers to the nautilus shell itself and the animal that grows in this particular shape.

Nautilus

If you have studied science, trigonometry, geometry, all the maths, you will know about the Fibonacci spiral.

The nautilus shell displays that in a very beautiful way.

You’ll see this spiral shape throughout nature as a type of perfect math.

The interesting thing about the nautilus itself is that, as it grows, it does not change its shape. It simply gets bigger.

That’s the same as love.

In our society, we definitely have misinterpreted love and I was guilty of trying to be someone that another person would want.

Unfortunately, that someone I was trying to be could change depending on who the other person was, because I was trying to be who that person wanted and that person and that person and that person and that person.

That meant I wasn’t actually myself for any of them. I was lying to all of them and I was lying to myself.

So, the first guiding principle of the Hart Habits and of love as I have defined it through the Hart Habits, is that it requires growth, not change.

Love does not need you to be anything different than you are. As I said in the very first videos and in many videos since you are perfect exactly as you are right now. You’re perfect.

Everything about you is perfect right now.

Will you grow over time? Yes.

Will you change over time? Probably, you will.

But love doesn’t require you to change.

Love loves you just like you are in any given moment.

Guiding Principle #2

The second guiding principle is that love is a practice.

These 10 Hart Habits are habits that need to be practiced consistently over time.

If they are practiced over time, we find they become easier and easier and easier to implement regularly. They all work together to strengthen and reinforce one another. You can’t just take the framework one day and boom, life is a success the next day. I’ve been working on it for 15 years.

Hopefully, it only takes you a year or two of thinking about it and being intentional to see some really massive changes in your life.

But that depends on how intentionally you put them into practice.

Guiding Principles #3 and #4

The third guiding principle is that love is liberation.

When I started this, it was because of the saying that love never fails, but it had failed me a lot.

Now, you’ll notice that the fourth guiding principle is that love never fails.

I built The Hart Habits on a model of love that I understood but it grew into the one I’m sharing with you today, because my wish, at the very beginning of this process, was that I could understand this concept of love from a practical standpoint. I wanted to understand how to DO it. How do I live love? How do I implement it in my life?

Because I had been doing what I thought it was, and I was hopeless and in terrible shape and I didn’t understand why.

That’s why love was the foundation of what I’ve built.

Now, I really do believe that love is liberation and that as we apply these principles to our own lives, to our businesses, to our life decisions, to our families and parenting decisions, et cetera, that we can bring liberation for all of us.

Because thinking and acting in this way by implementing these habits, will cause us to do activities in our spheres of influence that will provide liberation, justice, and space for everybody to exist exactly as they are.

That’s a big dream, of course, but who would I be out here making videos for all these weeks if I didn’t have a big dream, right?

So I will quickly read and explain the placement of each of The Hart Habits but I won’t dive too deeply into any of them because each of them have already been explained a little further in one of the How to Stop Letting Anxiety and Negative Thinking Ruin Your Life series.

If you’re wanting more, I’ve included links to the videos that correspond with each principle.

The first part to focus in on is the model itself, the nautilus shape. And you notice that the very first central word is self.

Because if you don’t know, love and respect the vessel that you walk in, you cannot bring your full potential to anything else in this world. No relationship, no job, no business, no parenting role, no nothing.

You can’t bring your full self if you don’t even know who your full self is.

Habit 1

Hart Habit number one is self. I am an exquisite and unique being. Everything flows through me and I know, love, and respect the vessel I live in.

This is key to understand that everything flows through you. When I talk about truth, I talk about the difference between objective truth and subjective truth.

When we really start to think about it, almost everything we believe to be true is a subjective truth.

It all has to come through our brain, our body, and our filter for us to receive it as truth. And we apply our own lenses and filters, no matter what.

Understanding and appreciating that is the key to being able to see things in as objective a manner as possible.

Habit 2

In the nautilus, the next thing you’ll see is truth and it’s number two for a reason. Everything else has to be based on you understanding how to come back to what is true. What is the objective truth? What is the subjective truth?

Learning to appreciate, celebrate, and take those things into account as you’re making other decisions in your life makes a world of difference.

The mantra is, I face objective and subjective truths head on and carry them simultaneously, even when they conflict.

Habit 3

The third habit you see here in the nautilus is trust. The mantra is, I choose to trust as a default because I listen to my inner voice and I know how to see and carry truth.

You see how number three rests on number two and number one?

Habit 4

The fourth habit we come to in the nautilus is thoughts. The mantra is, I allow and direct my thoughts to focus on those things that I want to attract more of.

It’s important to note that I’ve talked about both allowing and directing.

On the one hand, thoughts are in your brain and they are gonna happen. We can’t be conscious of 100% of those thoughts. Many of them would sound like: take a breath, pump blood, or contract a muscle.

But we can be conscious of a lot of our thoughts and we can allow the thoughts to come and go. We can appreciate them, see them, notice what they tell us about ourselves and then let them float away.

We can also be conscious and direct our thoughts to think about and focus on those things we want to attract more of.

Habit 5

The fifth habit in the framework is talk. Now that we understand how to evaluate our thoughts and consciously think about things that we want, and be conscious of the thoughts that we have, we also can use our words to invoke movement in the energies around us. The habit is talk and the mantra is, I use my words to exponentially strengthen and uplift myself and others.

In the first video, I spoke about how we can use talk to put things to death.

I was referring to therapy and how getting our secrets out in places we’re safe to be vulnerable in can put to death the shame we have been living with.

We also can use our talk to strengthen and uplift ourselves and others. We’ve heard that our words (out tongue) has the power of life and death and it’s valuable to know how to use words to strengthen and uplift ourselves and those around us.

Habit 6

The sixth habit that you see in the nautilus is non-verbals. The mantra is, I keep my cool physically when faced with a tough situation. It gives me time to process before I respond.

When we’re conscious of our thoughts, intentional with our talk, and aware of messages our non-verbals might be communicating we can curate a beautiful life.

If we stop and give ourselves a moment before responding, that’s where we find our growth and happiness, as Viktor Frankl would say.

Habit 7

Number seven in the framework is record. This is a very practical habit and it refers to the process of taking things out of our brain and putting them down in recorded, documented forms.

I talked about how you could use paint, sculpture, writing, a journal, an exercise log, a calendar, or so many other mediums.

The point is to get the things out of our body and onto more tangible forms we can see. This is how we can create our vision, track our goals and see our progress so we can celebrate our success. The mantra is, I document the details of my vision and goals of the markers along the way, and of my progress towards them.

Habit 8

The eighth habit is protect. The mantra is, I protect myself and others from my feelings and judgments. And I protect my secrets and theirs from the rest of the world.

I will never be flippant in acting as if this is an easy habit to implement. I highly recommend therapy if this is one that you struggle with. Because you need to get things out, but they need to be in a safe environment. But I have experienced how hard it can be to get mental health coverage in our system. Don’t give up. You are worth getting the help you need and there are resources available. Look into online programs like betterhelp.com or talkspace.com or check your local university for learner-staffed therapy programs that sometimes work on a sliding fee scale.

Habit 9

The ninth habit is endure. The mantra is, I consistently implement realistic steps towards my vision.

The key is knowing yourself, staying focused on the goal, and using your strengths strategically to keep moving forward without burning out.

Habit 10

The last Hart Habit is both a habit we can practice, a skill we can hone, and an outcome of practicing the other nine Hart Habits and it is hope. The mantra is, I maintain or find hope, even when it’s not easy.

Sometimes it really isn’t easy, but when you’re practicing the other Hart Habits, you’ll find it’s a little easier and you know how to tap into your network, your connections, and your community, to help find hope for yourself and for the people around you.

So this is your introduction to The Hart Habits framework. I hope it’s something that’s helpful to you. You can download it somewhere on my site.

In the meantime, I’ll see you next time. I love you.

Disclaimer –

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📕 Recommended Resources:

⚡The Hart Habits by Bridgett Hart: https://theharthabits.com

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How to Stop Letting Anxiety and Negative Thoughts Ruin Your Life – https://bit.ly/3cnDNru