Sometimes, Knowing the Truth Hurts like HELL. 🔥

Sometimes, knowing the truth hurts so bad we try to survive by blissing out in denial.

When the absolute truth of the situation is crushing and devastating, we might look to shopping, social media, destructive behaviors, substances, or “love & light” to get us through.

But sometimes, we just need to feel all the things the truth makes us feel. Angry. Betrayed. Scared. Afraid. Sometimes, we just have to embrace the shitty so that we can move through the healing. And we should do it for our friends too.

Have you ever had a feeling something is wrong, but you tell a loved one, and they respond with “I’m sure it’s nothing” or “Just keep thinking positive thoughts, everything will be okay!”.

It was a well-intended statement, sure, but it hits… FLAT.

Not only flat but ignorant of the fact you JUST TOLD THEM about the feeling you had. Like they are literally ignoring the words that are coming out of your mouth.

It can be annoying, frustrating, and isolating.

It can feel like no one understands or has ever experienced what you’re currently feeling.

Well, let me assure you, my love. So many of us have gone through that devastating thing you’re going through, or sense is coming.

Miscarriage. Rape. Losing a Big Client. Divorce. Death. Bankruptcy. Chronic Illness. Cheating. Abuse.

WE KNOW, Honey. We FEEL YOU!

And USEFUL help is here.

So, here are a few tips for when the truth hurts like a B!%$#, and you feel like you’re dealing with it alone.

Feel it.

Whatever you’re feeling, lean into it and name it. Angry? Betrayed? Ignored? Powerless? Afraid? Acknowledge and validate the things you’re feeling. It’s okay that you feel it and in fact, there is a REASON you’re feeling it. It’s a valid reason. NO MATTER WHAT! It doesn’t matter if the feeling is rooted in deep childhood issues, the hard truth of a matter, or hormonal shifts. It’s valid BECAUSE you feel it.

Observe it.

As you’re feeling it, see if you can’t also observe it. Look at the feelings you’re having and think about what they are trying to show you, teach you, or leave you. You don’t have to understand yet but pay attention.

Document it.

One way to observe it is by documenting it. Write, paint, type, scribble, color – these are all ways you can record and evaluate your feelings. There’s NOTHING WRONG WITH THEM, but allowing them to come out of your head and into tangible forms will give you a new perspective to think about them from.

Treat it.

There are a lot of VERY DIFFICULT things we go through in life, and we deserve the time and grace to move through them as we need to. Healing is not an overnight process. So, if you’re feeling angry, that’s okay. Feel it. And when you’ve processed those feelings and you’re ready, do things that will help you release that anger. Maybe go to a “rage room” where you can throw electronics against cement or try a boxing class, play with your kids, get a massage, or light a candle – whatever works for you.

Also, remember that therapy is not for “crazy” people. It’s for humans who have complicated psycho-social realities and can use a little informed help to navigate it without hurting themselves or others more than necessary. With the right therapist, therapy is ALWAYS helpful as we move through the many harsh truths we have to face in life.

#IAMLove

#HealthEquity

#healthyrelationship

#truth

#rememberwhoyouare

#youarelove

@theharthabits