How to Have Hope in Desperate Times Pt 7

by Bridgett Hart

Scientifically speaking, there is a recipe for how to have hope in desperate times.

There are three parts to the hope recipe and looking in the mirror is the key to multiplying them all.

Like I said in the video, HOPE comes from a trilogy of Goals, Pathways, and Agency.

Simply put, folks have hope when they know what they want and how to get there for themselves.

That could make us think that we can have hope by ourselves or in ourselves.

The problem is, it just doesn’t work that way.

We may have goals we think are ours alone, but we never have all the pathways and agency by ourselves.

Research shows it’s the goals we share in community that give us the most of all three parts of the recipe for hope.

I’ll start by defining agency and then give you a basic example to consider.

There are many definitions of the word “agency”, but here, the word refers to “the capacity, condition, or state of acting or of exerting power”.

We could call this our “ability to do for ourselves”.

Our level of agency can change based on our physical abilities, legal constraints, physical constraints, financial means, and more.

The recent overturn of Roe V Wade and several other key pieces of legislation have reminded many of us that while we thought we have full agency over our body, choices, and personal health care, that is not true in the United States. We can be imprisoned or forced to die over a personal health care decision if we are in the wrong part of our country.

We may believe we have the capacity to do a lot for our selves, but we don’t have the means.

We need other people and other parts of nature for most of it.

Consider our “ability” to breathe. It’s unconscious for most of us most of the time. Our brain and lungs and body work together to make it happen seamlessly.

But could we breathe if there were no plants producing oxygen? If you’ve ever done scuba diving, you learned what happens to a body that can’t get its oxygen. It’s not pretty. The answer is a hard no.

We have the agency to breathe, but we aren’t EVER doing it alone.

Now that we understand agency doesn’t exist in a vacuum, let’s talk about why it’s so important for us to look in the mirror for our goal-setting process.

In this mini-series, I mentioned 4 ways that we need to evaluate our self in order to have hope in desperate times:

It’s important because these things all affect the how and why of the goals we set and whether they will be strong enough to feed hope when the going gets tough.

Here’s an example:

Goal: Lose 40 lbs to be more healthy. My body, my goal

Pathways: eating healthy. eating less. exercise. starving. binging and purging. extreme working out, etc. Requires farmers, grocers, food manufacturers, gym owners, gym equipment manufacturers, trainers, doctors, supplements, and more.

Agency: I do the grocery shopping and meal planning, Have a 6-month-old breastfeeding, 3 other kids to make dinner for and get ready for school each day, 9 – 5 job, no car, no money for gym membership, etc. Focused on what self is capable of accomplishing alone, but neglects the many people required for each constraint even to exist.

Vs.

Goal: Look good and feel good in my body that takes good care of me (Strength and Gratitude). Be kind and gracious with myself because I know I’ve been through a lot of trauma around this in the past (Shadow). Make choices that honor myself (Boundaries) so I can live a fulfilling, happy life with my friends and family (Spirit).

Pathways: beautiful clothing that fits well, healthy food from farmer’s market, massage and other holistic body care, outings with friends and family, therapy, exercise, involvement in local interest groups, hobbies, regular healthcare, meditation, etc. (Lots of others involved here)

Agency: Support from partner, friends, family, neighbors and experts, routines that prioritize self-care, thrift stores, neighborhood mutual aid/gardens, learning to grow/harvest/prepare/preserve fresh fruits and vegetables, time in nature, seeking fulfillment/better conditions at work, etc. (Even more others involved here)

When we take the time to know ourselves better, we’re more able to see others for their contributions as well.

As we practice the habit over time, we may find our goals aligning with the community we are loving and being loved in.

When we align our goals as a community and move towards them together, well, “Yes, we can” as President Obama said.

For me, the goal that keeps me hopeful is that of leaving the world they live in better for my Black American Daughter and her community than it was when I got here.

There’s a million pathways to get there and I have a LOT of agency as her mom and primary caregiver.

I’m grateful my journey brought her into a STRONG, LOVING community to help accomplish that goal.

The awesome part is while the goal still drives me to do more & better every day, it’s also ALREADY DONE.

Because of our community. And because of me. <3

So, the question of the day is:

What Goals help YOU hold on to hope when times are desperate?

If you don’t know the answer, try working through this series for yourself and see where you land.

Mind you, while the series might only take 20 minutes to consume, it could represent months or years of self-reflection practices depending on where you are in the process. You get the time and grace to move through the process at your pace.

Talk soon. I love you.

Disclaimer –

This video is NOT sponsored. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Your clicks help support the channel and allow me to continue to make videos like this one. But don’t worry, It does not affect the price you pay. 😉 Thank you for your support.

📕 Recommended Resources:

⚡The Hart Habits by Bridgett Hart: https://theharthabits.com

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