In order to have hope in desperate times, we have to start with taking a good look in the mirror. Next time you're feeling hopeless, think about the boundaries you have in place in your life. Are they hurting you, or helping you?
Boundaries as Path Markers
I've talked before about boundaries and how crucial they are to living our best life. That's not only because of how it benefits our mental health, but also because it helps guide and direct our life.
Think about a pathway through the woods. If there are no clear boundaries, it might be easy to get lost. But with a well-marked path, you feel more secure, right?
Boundaries act like those path markers in our lives and relationships. They help us determine what's off-course and how to get to our goals. Really, they just help us make sure we're going the way we want to go.
The fun, and sometimes scary, part is we don't always know what all our boundaries should be, or where we should place them now or in the future. Sometimes parts of our path are through areas where no one has gone before and laid out where the pathway is. We have to decide on our own.
Sometimes we worry that a boundary placed now will be a big obstacle for us later. And sometimes they will be.
Your Body Already Knows
But I have a secret for you. There's a great way to decide whether a boundary is right for you or not, in any given moment. You have an internal system that helps you figure it out.
I won't go into all the science behind why this works right now, but in a nutshell, your body has the capacity to tell you everything you need to know about a boundary. The key is to learn to hear it, and then to trust it.
Some of us call it our gut instinct, or have other ways of describing how our body speaks to us. But when I'm talking about boundaries, I want you to take what I'm saying very literally.
The Mirror Exercise for Boundaries
As part of the exercise of looking in the mirror, think about how the boundaries you have in your life make your body feel.
When you think about the different restrictions and lines you won't cross, how does your body feel? Does it feel free and expansive when you think of it, or binding and restrictive?
For example, a boundary of no work calls after 6:30pm could have both the expansive feeling of being free in the evenings to spend uninterrupted time with your kids, or it could feel restrictive because so much business is being done by your competitors during that time. Neither is good or bad. They are merely different.
My point is that only you really know what the right boundaries are for you, and your body has the power to tell you about it if you listen closely.
So evaluate your boundaries while you're in the mirror, and ask yourself: how does my body feel about this boundary? The more closely you listen to your body's answers, the more aligned your life will get with your purpose, and the more hope you'll be able to access when times get tough.
My next post is about a boundary I put in place in my life, and how sometimes a boundary can put a big obstacle in your way, and thank goodness it does.
Talk soon. I love you.
Question of the day: How do your boundaries feel in your body?