Sometimes, our anxiety and negative thoughts are Spirit trying to connect with us, trying to send us a message.
This is something I struggled with for years, so it's a topic I know intimately.
The Last Piece of Self-Love
The past few posts have been about self-love, and how loving ourselves well keeps anxiety and negative thinking from getting the best of us. This is the last piece: bringing our full selves, including our connection to Spirit, into the world we live in.
Note: If you're currently struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out to the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. You can call or text 988 anytime. You deserve support, right now, exactly as you are.
What Happened to Me at the End of 2019
I suddenly began experiencing a lot of anxiety and negative thinking, overwhelming thoughts of death. It felt out of body, because it wasn't something I was accustomed to.
I was struggling with suicidal thoughts, and a total loss of hope, and I didn't understand where it came from. Fortunately, I tapped into my network, my resources, and the system I use to stay connected, and it worked. I got through.
What I figured out later was that Spirit was trying to send me a message. A few months after that, a pandemic hit the world, and it turned out I'd been feeling something related to that all along.
What I Mean By "Spirit"
I'm not saying you're a blossoming mystic like me, or that you have some message you need to share with the world. What I am saying is that here we are on this earth, and we are energy.
The law of thermodynamics tells us energy can't be created or destroyed, only changed in form. Everything on earth and in the universe we know of is made of atoms, made of subatomic particles moving at different frequencies. We're all made of the same energetic matter. From a scientific standpoint, we are energy, and we emit and interact with measurable frequencies.
I like to compare our existence here to a lava lamp. The lamp is God, or the universe, and we're all part of it. Some of us are the water the blobs float through, some of us are the blobs. Every time a blob floats up, it breaks into different sizes, sinks, comes up again, breaks apart again, over and over. The blobs change form, size, how they look, how they move, but they're all made of the same stuff, inside the same lamp.
We may die and be born, but really, our energy has just changed form. Some believe we become dirt, which feeds plants, which feeds nature, which feeds humanity. Others believe we take on new human or other forms. I'm not trying to settle that debate, but thinking about our time here this way can change how we approach some things.
I know this might challenge some theistic beliefs, and that's not my intention. My intention is to open up the possibility that God is everywhere around us, and in and through us. As part of God in nature, you're an integral piece of the whole, and so is everyone around you, and so is all the nature around you. The Spirit wants to be connected to you, but really, the Spirit already is connected to you. There's no way around that. What we're actually working on is becoming open enough to hear it.
For My Atheist Friends
I get that this might be tough for friends in the atheist community, and I'm sorry if it is. My background is Christianity, that's the language and bias I come from. I honor and respect your own way of engaging with this, and I'll keep working to find language that fits better for you too. Ultimately, the point is: I'm connected to you, you're connected to me, we're part of nature and earth together, and we all matter.
Get Quiet
The first thing to do is get quiet. Just get quiet.
This is genuinely hard in today's world. With all the devastating news and scary things happening, quiet is hard to come by, but it's the first and most important part of connecting with Spirit.
I'm a fan of using tools to help with this, so I recommend the Calm app or Brain.fm, both offer guided meditations and frequencies that can help you get into a relaxed, meditative state. You might also try closing doors, taking alone time, and literally just being quiet. If sitting still with your own mind is hard, lean on a guided tool instead.
Other ways to get quiet: nature walks, a yoga class, working out, a prayer closet, meditation, a silent retreat.
Get Connected
Once you're quiet, you can get connected. This part is intentional and personal. It might mean researching the historical roots of your lineage, your ancestry, your family of origin, or your current community, especially around religion or spiritual connection. Ask yourself: how have your people connected to Spirit in the past?
If you find you're enhanced by Spirit through being with other people, do that. Find your people. Reach out. Spend time with those who lift you up and encourage your best self. That might mean getting involved in a local church or temple, a business group, a gardening group, a gaming group, anything that matters to you and connects you to others of like mind.
One of my mentors in this space is Isha Cogburn, of the Epiphany Institute. She's the person who first pushed me to actually write down and name what would become the Hart Habits, and her own work on spiritual connection has shaped a lot of how I think about this.
Spirit Exists Because You Exist
If you want to connect with Spirit, get quiet, then get connected to what's already around you naturally. Your sphere of influence is there for a reason.
It's simplistic to say connection is just get quiet, get connected. But the real point is that you're already part of the divine of this whole planet. Spirit exists because you exist.
All you need to do is tie into the network Spirit has already built for you, your friends, family, neighbors, coworkers, church, garden group, bowling team, running team, whatever it is. They're there on purpose, as your support and strength for the hard stuff.
And Spirit doesn't only exist in people. It's in every part of the nature you move through too. Spirit is your favorite hiking spot, your garden, the feral kittens born in your backyard, the octopus you met on a scuba trip, the car accident you survived, the devastating loss you carried, the trauma you went through, and every emotion and desire you felt along the way.
I hope you're finding your own way to intentionally get quiet and get connected to the Spirit that's already around you. As you start listening more closely, I'd love to hear what kind of messages you start noticing. It's funny to me when mine come from a commercial I've heard a thousand times, or a billboard I'd never noticed before. I can't wait to hear where you find yours.
Recommended resources:
Isha Cogburn, Epiphany Institute
BetterHelp Online Therapy
Calm
Brain.fm
Question of the day: How do you connect to Spirit, and what do you call it?