How to Turn Your Weakness Into a Strength (And Authentically Cultivate Your Path)

Last time, I talked about how your imperfections make you perfect, and shared two of my own deepest, darkest secrets. I know that raised a real question: how does knowing your weaknesses actually make you perfect? And what good does it do to know your imperfections, especially after I just told you how important it is to know your strengths?

This is about turning your faults, your imperfections, your deepest secrets, into your superpowers. I'll walk you through the exercise. Follow along.

Two Things I Was Hiding

For me, the two biggest ones were cannabis use, and later, discovering racism I hadn't examined in myself.

At the time I first went through this, I was a CEO and executive director at a large agency, overseeing people running 24-hour care facilities. The question was: how would speaking openly about either of those things, cannabis use or unexamined racism, have actually helped me, or anyone, in that role?

It's a fair question. What would've happened if, as CEO, I'd announced I was pro-cannabis, that I used it every day, that I was a health equity advocate for cannabis access and research? At the time, over a decade ago, it wouldn't have helped. I would've lost my job. I would've lost my fingerprint clearance card. I wouldn't have been able to do most of what I was doing in that role.

Authenticity Needs Wisdom Too

Authenticity always helps, but it needs wisdom alongside it. Would discovering my own racism have helped me in that CEO role? Yes, absolutely. I could have used that position to work toward eradicating white supremacy inside the organization, to uplift and empower the people I worked with, to run an anti-racist corporation from the top down, if I'd done that work and been willing to sit with it.

Unfortunately, I didn't have that awakening until long after I'd already left the CEO role, because of the cannabis, not the racism. But that circles back to the real point: how did any of this actually help me?

What the Discovery Actually Gave Me

Discovering how important cannabis was to my life helped me make an authentic decision about the direction of my life. I realized that climbing the corporate ladder, being CEO, being executive director, wasn't actually the journey I wanted for myself. I was there. I hadn't ended up there by accident. But I didn't actually want to be there, and I wasn't motivated to stay on that path. So I pivoted, because I'd authentically embraced what I believed, at the time, were my imperfections.

Once I could embrace those things honestly, I was able to evaluate what I actually wanted. Not just what I didn't want, but what I wanted to build, and what I wanted to contribute to the community around me. I used that imperfection to navigate my way to where I am today.

If I weren't open about my cannabis use now, it would genuinely be harder to do the work I do. A lot of the people I work with, in business consulting and in coaching, also use cannabis, and it matters to them to be able to say so openly with the people they work with, instead of being dismissed, or assumed to lack the wisdom or mental capacity to do extraordinary things, simply because of the stigma attached to it. Because I'm open about it, we can work together in that same authenticity, and build something new, together.

Cultivate Your Strengths at the Same Time

The flip side of embracing your imperfections is cultivating your strengths. I've written before about how to figure out yours using the Clifton StrengthsFinder, based on four decades of Gallup research. You take a short assessment, or it comes with the book, and it tells you your top five strengths.

At the same time I was making this transition in my life, I dug into my own strengths, and started figuring out how to actually work within them. It made all the difference. Using cannabis daily became one of my superpowers. And discovering the racism inside me became another one, because now I can talk to white people about how to recognize and unlearn it in themselves. I've already been through that work. I'm still on it. But I'm glad to share what I've learned.

Connect With People Who Share Your Values

The last piece: connect with people who share your values, your strengths, or complementary ones, and your imperfections too. That's where the real magic happens. You are love, manifest in human form. Exactly as you are is exactly as you were meant to be, and you are perfect. Once you can remember that about yourself, it gets a lot easier to remember it about everyone else too.

Question of the day: What's one thing you've been hiding that might actually be a strength, once you stop hiding it?

Art Journaling for Anxiety: A Technique I Learned From Jennifer Michelle Price

Art Journaling for Anxiety: A Technique I Learned From Jennifer Michelle Price

There's no easy, one-size-fits-all solution to dealing with the hard stuff in relationships. Sometimes you need to deal with a toxic person, or a genuinely difficult situation. Sometimes you have to face a really crappy truth. Here's a tool that helps me stay aligned while I move through it.

A Technique I Learned From Jennifer Michelle Price

I learned this practice from Jennifer Michelle Price, in an art journaling class of hers. When I'm stuck on a relationship, or just a life issue I can't think my way out of, I use art to help me move through it.

The instruction she gave me was simple: just put paint on the brush, and touch the paper. Then see what comes from it.

How It Works

You don't need expensive supplies. Inexpensive watercolors and paper work fine. And it doesn't matter what comes out of it, because art is anything you create. It doesn't have to be for anyone else's consumption. It can exist purely so your brain gets to experience a multi-sensory process while you're sitting with whatever's actually challenging you.

Sometimes I use watercolors. Sometimes it's coloring pages, washi tape, clay, or some other medium entirely. The point isn't the finished product. It's giving your brain something to do with its hands while it works through something underneath the surface, passively, almost sideways. It's a small neuroscience trick, really: engaging multiple senses at once can help you process something you can't quite get to with words alone.

This Was Show, Before I Had a Name for It

I made this technique part of my own practice years before I ever named the Hart Habits. Looking back now, this is Habit seven, Show, in its earliest form: taking what's internal and giving it a shape you can see, touch, and hold, even if nobody else ever sees it. I didn't have the language for it yet. I was just doing it.

If you want to go deeper on Show as a full Habit, you can find that on the Hart Habits Framework page.

Recommended resources:
Jennifer Michelle Price, artist: jennifermichelleprice.com

Question of the day: What do you use to process something you can't quite put into words?