A lot of my anxiety and negative thoughts came from unrealistic expectations of myself and my timeline, and from feeling like I gave up on things too soon.

Hart Habit Nine: Endure

Today's Habit is Endure. The declaration: I consistently implement realistic small steps toward my vision.

When I started developing what became The Hart Habits, I came across the phrase "love always endures." At the time, that felt like nonsense to me. A lot of people had cheated on me by that point, and love hadn't endured for me in any of those situations. So either I had no idea what love actually was, or "real" love was supposed to last forever no matter what.

The truth is simpler than either of those. We're human. We get tired. Sometimes we should quit things that aren't good for us. Sometimes we should quit people that aren't good for us, even if we love them, especially if we love them, and especially if we love ourselves.

The Tortoise and the Hare

I like to use The Tortoise and the Hare to illustrate how this Habit actually works.

If you watch the Disney cartoon version, there's an interesting difference between the two characters right from the start: the need for external validation versus internal. The tortoise wore a jacket that said "Slow but sure," fully at peace with his own pace. The hare, meanwhile, called himself The Blue Streak, focused on what everyone else would see when he blew past them.

That's the first real lesson in learning to endure: know and love yourself first. Understand your strengths, your so-called weaknesses, your boundaries, your connection to spirit. You have to start with Hart Habit number one, Self.

You also have to know the race you're actually running. Get clear on your vision and your goals. I've talked before about recording and documenting the hopes you have for your future, it's a brain hack, a manifestation hack, and it's genuinely therapeutic too. If you let yourself focus too much on external validation and everyone else's circumstances, it's much easier to wear yourself out and lose the thread on your way to your own goal.

Pace Yourself and Stay Focused

Endurance has nothing to do with how fast or slow you reach a goal. A sprinter's timeline looks different from a marathoner's, and that's fine. It's not about the clock, it's about knowing the goal, staying focused on it, and pacing yourself in a way you can actually sustain. Going too fast can undo the work you've already put in.

You'll hit obstacles. Circumstances will change. Sometimes you'll feel completely knocked off track. The key is keeping your eyes on the prize, and getting back on when you can. It's okay that you had to step off for a while. Just refocus and start moving again. One small step is enough.

Use Your Strengths Strategically

The third piece loops back to knowing yourself. If you want to endure, using your actual strengths strategically will get you there with far less wasted effort. I walked through how to figure out your strengths back in the Clifton StrengthsFinder post. Now you know why I keep coming back to it; your strengths show up in nearly every other part of building a life that works. If you want endurance to come easily, choose projects, work, and a life path that lets you use your strengths most of the time, not against the grain of them.

Wrap Up

If you find yourself often afraid and unsure of what's coming, that's exactly how my own anxiety used to show up. This is the Habit to work on.

Metaphysically and scientifically, when we apply energy to something consistently, things change. We just have to apply it in the right amount, at the right consistency, to get the outcome we actually want. Sometimes it takes a few tries to find that mix. Sometimes it just takes longer than you thought it would. Give yourself realistic goals, and push through until you hit them, proving to yourself that you have what it takes.

When you live this Habit consistently, across every part of your life, people start seeing you as powerful and inspired. They'll want to know how you got where you are, when really, all you did was put small steps in place and keep moving toward the goal.

You've probably noticed how often the other Hart Habits keep showing up as I talk about this one. That's because they build on each other. There's one Habit left, Hope, and after that, a look at how the whole system fits together.

Question of the day: How do you keep moving forward when your motivation is lacking?