How to Train Your Brain to Think Positive: A 4-Step Exercise (Anxiety Series, Pt. 2)
Your brain has a filter, and once you understand how it works, you can change what it lets in.
Your Brain's Thermostat
Science tells us the brain is a primary player in anxious thinking. Here's a metaphor my husband will appreciate: your brain works like the A/C thermostat in your home.
We have a bundle of nerves called the Reticular Activating System, or RAS. The RAS operates like a thermostat for your brain. It reads the temperature around it, compares that to the temperature the homeowner, your amygdala and frontal lobe, has told it to achieve, and turns on or off to make the actual temperature match the desired one. It decides whether that means heating, cooling, fan only, or off, moment to moment.
According to an NPR interview with behavioral and data scientist Pragya Agarwal, the human brain can process 11 million bits of information every second. But our conscious minds can handle only 40 to 50 bits a second.
How does the conscious mind decide what to pull in? Enter the RAS. It sorts through those 11 million bits and selects the lucky 40 to 50, based on what the amygdala and frontal lobe have told it to find.
This is why you can hear someone say your name across a crowded room, or why the moment you start thinking about a particular car, you suddenly see it everywhere. Your thoughts have told your brain what to look for, and your brain is very good at finding it.
When the Filter Works Against You
This system works in our favor, and to our detriment.
When we suffer trauma, our amygdala learns that the trauma was real, and teaches the brain to always watch for it, and avoid it. Over years of this subconscious filtering, anxious thoughts can become unmanageable, because your brain always expects the other shoe to drop.
The good news: once you know how this system works, it's not hard to hack. This exercise gives you what you need to train your brain to believe what you want it to, and start creating the reality you actually want.
I learned this years ago from my life coaches, the Amazing Clarks, and it still helps me consistently manifest the life I want.
The Top 5 Thoughts Exercise
If you've been struggling with anxious or negative thoughts lately, take ten minutes. Pull out a pen and paper.
Recognize. Write down the top five thoughts running through your head every day. Not the topic, the whole thought. If you're always thinking about money, don't write "money." Write exactly what you're thinking: "I don't have enough money for..." or "What happens when I can't pay rent next month?"
Question. With those five thoughts on paper, look at them a little deeper. Can you poke holes in the truth of the thought, or find any reason for gratitude inside the challenge it holds? If the thought was "I don't have enough money for my kids' back-to-school supplies," consider: What do you have money for, food, clothing, rent, that you can be grateful for? What community might want to help? What adjustments could you make to find that money? What will it feel like once you have more than enough, not just for school supplies, but for so much more?
Disrupt. Next to each of the five thoughts, write down an alternate thought that feels better. You only need one per thought, but it has to actually feel good to you. These become your mantras. For "I don't have enough money for back-to-school supplies," a mantra might be: "That sucks right now, but I can imagine when we have more than enough, and we go on a back-to-school shopping spree. That feels great."
Redirect. For the next week, every time one of the original five thoughts shows up, stop yourself, verbally, mentally, physically, say no, and repeat the replacement thought. Every time, all day long. Keep your replacement thoughts written somewhere you'll see them. Remind yourself they're true and valid.
It's going to feel strange at first, maybe even like a lie. Remember, you're training your brain right now. Choosing a new perspective isn't a lie. You just have to be intentional about it.
Why This Works
This exercise teaches your RAS to look for different information. You're telling your brain: I no longer want you to select the bits that make me feel ashamed about not having back-to-school money. I want you to find the pieces that remind me how great it feels to have more than enough.
Over time, your brain only filters in what you've told it to, and your life starts to look a lot like you think it should.
This isn't only the Law of Attraction or The Secret. It's also why Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and talk therapy work, not for everyone, but for many. Our thought patterns shape how we grow and change whether we're conscious of it or not. The difference is learning to influence them on purpose.
Please don't take this exercise as a replacement for therapy. Every one of us can benefit from at least a year of treatment, because we've all suffered trauma. Get therapy if you haven't yet, and don't settle for a therapist you don't resonate with.
In the meantime, I hope this trick helps you use conscious thinking to stop letting anxious and negative thoughts ruin your life.
Question of the day: How do you disrupt anxious and negative thoughts?